When I became a follower of Christ in 1980, the experience changed the direction of my life. Most of us who have experienced Christ’s love on a personal level would attest to the same change. During the intervening years, and with varying degrees of success, I have shared my faith and walk with fellow believers and unbelievers. About six years ago I went through a great awakening or a renewal/intensification of my walk. Leaders never stop learning. We know what we don’t know and try to know what we don’t understand. I saw God the Father, Christ, and the Holy Spirit with renewed clarity and focus. I began to realize just how impactful they have been on my life, even if I had not always admitted it or walked it out.
Thus began a new chapter in meditating on scripture, sharing, walking, and applying. I began to explore the gifts of the spirit and watched how these gifts manifest and operate. All the vestiges of my prior dispensationalist, cessationist walk disappeared, albeit slowly and painfully. That is a subject for another post. Along this journey, I occasionally visited the “slew of despond”—thank you, Mr. Bunyon for that word picture—but God was always there to reach out His hand and pull me to safety.
Recently, I had another Great Awakening in my life. It was one of those dreams emerging from a fog bank. The mist slowly rose, revealing the truth so clearly that I wondered how I had missed it. The clarity was born from truth I knew and had operated in for years. But circumstances had to line up to allow me to discern clearly. The truth that became crystal clear is that God wants me. When the world tries to beat me down, cast me off, and ignore me, the God of the Universe, Elohim (creator), El Shaddai (God almighty) wants me. Leadership can be lonely, especially when culture, church, family, and friends move in different directions. Pastors and ministry leaders feel this dichotomy daily. We live in the conundrum that those we thought we could trust will leave and/or turn with such vehemence that remaining engaged takes another level of love and forgiveness.
Several months ago, I wrote a treatise on the “God Sized Hole in Our Hearts.” I recently revisited that research when I heard a pastor state that he, too, had to realize that God always wanted him. When his earthly father abused and rejected him, God wanted him. When others turned on him, God wanted him. Psalm 14:2 & 3 tells us that no one seeks God. John 6:44 & 45 expands that with the truth that the Father draws men to Christ. Christ is the one who seeks and saves (Luke 19:9 & 10) and He chose us (John 15:16). WOW! When we are in that lonely position of telling the truth no one wants to hear, God wants us. When the narcissist spirit in a family member blocks you from seeing the ones you love, God wants you. When former colleagues/friends step away because you share truth, God wants you. When family members accuse you of despotic activity and meme your “naivety” on social media, God wants you. They hate; you do not have to. They want you to play the fop so their control is complete. Critical thinking is not their forte. They want to spread false doctrine and accuse you of doing what they do. Stay at it. God sees.
Changing focus to this truth does not mean that the attacks will stop. However, you will recognize the consequences and impact of those attacks as meaningless. You may not have contact with those people soon or ever again, but you can be ready to forgive and reconcile as God directs. That sets you free. They are without Christ and therefore uncomfortable in their skin. Sadly, they choose to remain in that state of mind, believing and spewing their lies. But for Christ, you would be in the same lost state. As leaders, there are some things we have to endure, but we do not have to take the abuse of those who reject us because God wants us. We do not need to engage with family or (former) friends who decide their role is to make us as miserable as they are. There are places in this great country I will likely never visit again and people I may never see or hear from again. Life and leadership sometimes require that we keep moving and not look back. We pray, stand ready to forgive, and reconcile, but the hatred of others does not dictate our life. God wants us.
We are to love like Christ. However, we are also not to incessantly cast God’s valuables before those who reject us and Him (Matthew 7:6). There came a time when this rejection moved God to “[give] them up to uncleanness.” (Romans 1:18-25). As leaders in the church, this is not a decision we take lightly or apply randomly or frequently. To the best of our ability, we try to get along, (Romans 12:18) but when rejected or mocked for the umpteenth time, remember God wants you. There are others who want what you have. Find them and share Christ.